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Teen Emotional Wellness
Pre-teen and teenage years can present some especially trying circumstances, especially relating to teen emotional wellness, body image and self-esteem. "I'm fat. I'm too skinny. I'd be happy if I were taller, shorter, had curly hair, straight hair, a smaller nose, bigger muscles, longer legs." Do any of these statements sound familiar? Are you used to putting yourself down? If so, you're not alone. As a teen, you're going through a ton of changes in your body. And as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. Lots of people have trouble adjusting, and this can affect their self-esteem. Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?Increasingly teens and even pre-teens are becoming more aware of their own bodies in relation to what images the media provides as role models. Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect how you act. A person who has high self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her behavior, and will enjoy life more. Body image is how a person feels about his or her own physical appearance.For many people, especially people in their early teens, body image can be closely linked to self-esteem. That’s because as kids develop into teens, they care more about how others see them. What Influences a Person’s Self-Esteem?PubertySome teens struggle with their self-esteem when they begin puberty because the body goes through many changes. These changes, combined with a natural desire to feel accepted, mean it can be tempting for people to compare themselves to others. They may compare themselves to the people around them or to actors and celebs they see on TV, in movies, or in magazines. But it’s impossible to compare ourselves to others because the changes that come with puberty are different for everyone. Some people start developing early; others are late bloomers. Some get a temporary layer of fat to prepare for a growth spurt, others fill out permanently, and others feel like they stay skinny no matter how much they eat. It all depends on how our genes have programmed our bodies to act. The changes that come with puberty can affect how both girls and guys feel about themselves. Some girls may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about their maturing bodies. Others may wish that they were developing faster. Girls may feel pressure to be thin but guys may feel like they don’t look big or muscular enough. Outside Influences It’s not just development that affect self-esteem, though. Lots of other factors (like media images of skinny girls and bulked-up guys) can affect a person’s body image too. Family life can sometimes influence a person’s self-esteem. Some parents spend more time criticizing their children and the way they look than praising them. This criticism may reduce a person’s ability to develop good self-esteem. People may also experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way they look from classmates and peers. Sometimes racial and ethnic prejudice is the source of such comments. Although these comments often come from ignorance on the part of the person who makes them, sometimes they can affect a person's body image and self-esteem. Healthy Self-Esteem If you have a positive body image, you probably like and accept yourself the way you are. This healthy attitude allows you to explore other aspects of growing up, such as developing good friendships, growing more independent from your parents, and challenging yourself physically and mentally. Developing these parts of yourself can help boost your self-esteem. A positive, optimistic attitude can help people develop strong self-esteem. For example, saying, "Hey, I'm human," instead of "Wow, I'm such a loser," when you've made a mistake. Or not blaming others when things don't go as expected.Knowing what makes you happy and how to meet your goals can help you feel capable, strong, and in control of your life. A positive attitude and a healthy lifestyle (such as exercising and eating right) are a great combination for building good self-esteem. In a recent study by Michael Peterson, Ed.D., and colleagues of the University of Delaware, writing in the July-August issue of the American Journal of Health Behavior, how teenagers think about their body images involves more than vanity. "The adolescent infatuation with the cultural icon of thinness has contributed to an array of unhealthy behaviors," says Peterson. These include poor eating patterns, preoccupation with food and self, extreme dieting, lower self-esteem, and drug and alcohol abuse. How Your Relationship to Food and Your Body Affects Your Child Are you teaching your children to be obsessed with body image, fat and dieting? Parents should also be careful about their own body image issues. Casual remarks such as "I feel fat" or questions like "Do I look fat in this?" are heard by young ears and can plant the seeds in young minds. Young, normal-size children should not be dieting. Period. Those who are should be talking to someone, perhaps a professional, about how they are feeling about themselves. Children should be taught to be healthy and strong, regardless of their size or body type. Are body image issues a problem among the pre-teen set? How would you react to your daughter if she said she needed to be skinny? It's who you ARE, not how you look that counts Fathers play a particularly important role when it comes to body image issues among girls and must help fight society's emphasis on appearances. Fathers should focus their talk on the inside - what is inside their children, telling daughters that they ARE beautiful is better than telling them they LOOK beautiful. Sources: Lynn Grefe, CEO, National Eating Disorders Association
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